Does anyone else ever feel like they aren't being completely honest when they say "fine" in answer to the above question seventeen times a day?
Well, to be accurate, I don't really feel like I am lying when I say I am doing well, I just often don't feel like I am telling the whole story. I guess I just figure, how many people actually want to know the whole story? A lot of times people just ask in passing, not waiting for an answer. I know I've done that myself, though I dislike it when people do it to me.
I guess I answer the question based on more than just how I feel. On a given day, I may feel down or discouraged, but if I were to launch into a depressing tirade about my negative feelings, I wouldn't be telling the whole story anyway. It seems to me to be a strange paradox, but I'm learning that the journey of faith is full of those. I can "feel" crappy, but have a general sense that my life is going well, and that God is doing good things in it. My feelings are not the indicators of reality. They are indicators of other things, such as what I am believing deep down, sometimes without even realizing it.
It is nice though to have a few people with whom I can be completely transparent, who help me dig down below the surface to uncover the lies that I believe, and who walk with me and accept me- the good, the bad, and the ugly! Praise God for good friendships, and family members!
One thing stands out to me in all of this though. The many times I get standard answers from people: is it because I'm just not in that inner trust circle or because they think I'm not actually interested in them? What concerns me is not that I think I need to be everyone's confidante, but that I don't want to be a person who unconsciously discourages others from being real and transparent with me. I don't want to communicate that my acceptance is based on performance, appearance, or success. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I really want the main thing of my life to be that the love of God flows through me to other people, but I am all too aware at how rarely and imperfectly that happens. I am so glad that God is the One continually at work in me!
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2 comments:
oh boy....you sound like me!
i don't deny there are times when i use "How are you?" as more of a greeting. But with my closer friends, I always mean every word of it. I get dissapointed whenever I get a standard "I am fine" from them cos I know they are struggling with certain things in their life at that point. i've had a friend who is a complete opposite of most people I know, women at least. When she is depressed, she would rather keep it to herself and not have to talk about it, even though she knows how much I care about her. when this happens i can't help but doubt if i have been a good friend.
hmm... so maybe i should just say ... hey wassup... cuz that's what i really mean wheni ask 'how are you'
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