Always Come Back to the Solid Place

More from Henri Nouwen. The quote below is from the book "The Inner Voice of Love" which was basically his personal journal during the darkest time of his life. Many of his most beloved works were written out of what he learned, and what God did, through that time. This quote sums up how I've felt lately, in many ways.

Always Come Back to the Solid Place
You must believe in the yes that comes back when you ask, "Do you love me?" You must choose this yes even when you do not experience it.
You feel overwhelmed by distractions, fantasies, the disturbing desire to throw yourself into the world of pleasure. But you know already that you will not find there an answer to your deepest question. Nor does the answer lie in rehashing old events, or in guilt or shame. All of that makes you dissipate yourself and leave the rock on which your house is built.
You have to trust the place that is solid, the place where you can say yes to God's love even when you do not feel it. Right now you feel nothing except emptiness and the lack of strength to choose. But keep saying, "God loves me, and God's love is enough." You have to choose the solid place over and over again, and return to it after every failure.

I've felt so discouraged over the past few weeks. I felt so far from God, even though I knew He was as close as ever. I couldn't figure it out, but can't say I really tried. It was much easier to keep busy, and bury myself in distractions. The other day the Holy Spirit showed me that I was withholding forgiveness in a certain area, and that was the block. It's such a relief.

So today, I feel like God's love is enough. I recognize though, that that truth was just as true the other day, when I didn't feel it.